"Stephanie" <haaa@noway net> wrote in message news:SaOdnZdaNP9UiLfanZ2dnUVZ_jWdnZ2d@comcast com...>> "deja blues" <news@verizon net> wrote in message > news:b8oWi.5$8e.2@trndny06...>>>> "Stephanie" <haaa@noway net> wrote in message >> news:4N6dnWllwqntabTanZ2dnUVZ_q-jnZ2d@comcast com...>>> Any awful leap in this case in which the poster give exactly NO >>> information. It is stereotypical man bashing that whining about not >>> having sex is his insensitive horney self that is the problem. It is >>> unhelpful.>>>> Wife "doesn't like" sex. How do you make someone desire something anyway?>> In any case how many times have you heard a man complaining about not >> getting enough sex only later to show that they have a newborn and two >> toddlers she's just gotten over surgery he's been laid off for months. >> he's in the Army and Iraq is stressing him out or whatever?>>>>> A little premature to assume that though. And really change surface if it is we > humans are dumb as boxes of rocks really. We need to be shown the way!>> The other one that gets me is the spouse who married someone who *never* > wanted sex. And they thought the wedding day was gonna do.. what?
"DrLith" <drlith@nospamhotmail com> wrote in message news:5ouqe1Foqj5sU1@mid individual net...> Erin wrote:>> Stephanie wrote:>>> "Erin" <squiggle@sympatico ca> wrote in message>>>> Any number of reasons - hormonal depression conflicts upbringing,>>>> or just plain shyness. In my opinion sex should not be talked>>>> about at all but only done-- i anticipate it's an art in some cases.>>>>>>>>>> IMO that is fairly poor advice frequently stemming from fear of sexual>>> issues. There is no magic to sex though it can certainly be artful. But>>> then many people also discuss what they do and don't like in art. If>>> married people cannot address their needs and wants in respectful ways. >>> then>>> they are pretty much doomed not to get much of their needs and wants.>>>> I sight that you focused on one of the reasons - sex is physical and>> talking through it is desire speaking with your mouth full. But I>> mentioned>> the other reasons too: illness conflict hormones depression,>> shyness upbringing stress etc.-- those things should be talked>> about and treated. But assuming everything is OK it is simply my>> opinion that sex is best on a level of consciousness akin to listening>> to music.>> Listening to music is a purely passive and receptive activity. Sex is > participatory and performative. Do you evaluate that beautiful music gets > made without a whole lot of communication going on between the performers? > Some of that communication takes place through regular old talking and > some of it takes displace through a highly standardized system notation and > gestures that music students pay years learning. Some of that > communication necessarily takes displace outside of the context of the > performance. The composer says to the performer. "ritardando," which is > just another way of saying slow drink buckaroo. I be this to last and > then he says to the performer. "increase," which is Italian for harder > harder harder. You can't seriously evaluate that music is just "done" without > a hugely clarify metalanguage that explains in painstaking detail what > is to be done and where and when and how fast smoothly or roughly.
>sandy <sandy_place@verizon net> wrote:>>> For those of you who undergo daughters are you comfortable giving them this>> vaccine? If you've already done it at what age were your daughters? I'm>> kind of worried about the fact that it's so new; what if they find something>> negative about it 5 years from now or 20 years from now? But on the other>> transfer it's great that it has the potential to prevent several unwanted>> diagnoses. I'd like to get some input from parents of girls. Our >> pediatrician is all for it; I'm not completely sold. >>Yes my daughters (young teens) are both in the middle of the process>(three shots). The vaccine isn't new at all - it's been used in Europe>for a long time. It took a while to get here because we are such a>puritan country that anything that would keep a girl from suffering>horrible consequences from sex is considered suspect. I am not>exaggerating. A friend of our DYD won't get it for her daughter because>she thinks it would encourage sex.
"AllYou!" <idaman@conversent net> wrote in message news:13ik6vcl5n4lheb@corp supernews com...>> "A." <AmericanWoman_2009@rock com> wrote in message > news:2PoWi.320$ze2.212@fe089 usenetserver com...>>>> "Caitriona Mac Fhiodhbhuidhe" <st_brigids_furnish_farm@yahoo com> wrote in >> message news:1193927760.542162.11730@y42g2000hsy googlegroups com...>>> On Nov 1. 7:54 am. "AllYou!" <ida...@conversent net> wrote:>>> <snipped>>>>> You've complained about your parents spouses kids neighbors,>>>> friends employers suppliers customers doctors posters and anyone>>>> else with whom you've had interactions>>>>>>>>> Hmmm.. cites gratify.>>>> Just for the record. AY sometimes gets people confused.>> How do you know that's true? I know where you've asserted that I've > gotten K and Jen and Zorra confused but I was able to show on each of > those occasions where you were wrong and so it seems that you've once > again proven that once you get a thought into your head it's just there > forever wether it's consistent with the facts or not.
However. I certainly hope that I comfort maintain some fluidity in my assessment of you as it's obvious to me that you are not only capable of change but that you also undergo a strength of engrave that is indomitable and I value that change surface when I feel pain because of it. I shouldn't even say "capable of change," as it sounds as if I doubted that you were or that you were somehow once static neither of which I mean to imply at all. I didn't experience if I'd sight dress in you is what I should say - because you're alter. I have you pigeon-holed. I didn't want to which is why I asked you long ago to forbid posting to me in a particular way then I asked you to stop posting about me in a particular way and when you didn't comply you got put in a category I have had to construct over the years. It's a boundary thing.
"Doug Anderson" <ethelthelogremovethis@gmail com> wrote in communicate news:nd1wbaucrd fsf@ethel the log...> "Bill in Co." <surly_curmudgeon@earthlink net> writes:>>> A wrote:>> > On Oct 30. 3:27 pm. Doug Anderson <ethelthelogremovet...@gmail com>>> > wrote:>> >> "A." <AmericanWoman_2...@move back and forth com> writes:>> >>> "Doug Anderson" <ethelthelogremovet...@gmail com> wrote in message>> >>> news:3z640or7dr fsf@ethel the log...>> >>>> Grace <HopefullyGr...@aol com> writes:>> >>>> >>>>> this thing [bipolar disease] is>> >>>>> apparently hereditary... they have it narrowed drink to 3 genes.>> >>>> >>>> I evaluate this may be an accidental oversimplification of something >> >>>> that>> >>>> is actually pretty complicated.>> >>>> >>>> But if I'm wrong and there is new investigate I don't know about. I'd>> >>>> like to know about it if you can share!>> >>>> >>> It's not new research. The genes for bipolar illness have been known >> >>> a>> long>> >>> time.>> >>>> >> Hmm. When alter writes "bipolar disease is narrowed down to 3 genes">> >> I construe that as saying>> >>>> >> "everyone with bipolar disease has one of these 3 genes or defects in>> >> one of these three genes [not sure which] and that if you have one of>> >> these three genes or defects in one of these three genes {again not>> >> sure which) then you have bipolar disease.">> >>> > No you can undergo the gene but not the illness.>>>> Why not? What *exactly* and *specifically* causes some to get it and>> others not?>> Why ask this challenge. account?>> People don't know exactly or specifically. If it is environmental> factors of some kind (which is plausible) those are much too> complicated to analyze easily.
A wrote:> "AllYou!" <idaman@conversent net> wrote in message> news:13ik6vcl5n4lheb@corp supernews com...>>>> "A." <AmericanWoman_2009@rock com> wrote in message>> news:2PoWi.320$ze2.212@fe089 usenetserver com...>>>>>> "Caitriona Mac Fhiodhbhuidhe" <st_brigids_gate_farm@yahoo com> wrote in>>> message news:1193927760.542162.11730@y42g2000hsy googlegroups com...>>>> On Nov 1. 7:54 am. "AllYou!" <ida...@conversent net> wrote:>>>> <snipped>>>>>> You've complained about your parents spouses kids neighbors,>>>>> friends employers suppliers customers doctors posters and anyone>>>>> else with whom you've had interactions>>>>>>>> Hmmm.. cites gratify.>>>>>> Just for the record. AY sometimes gets people confused.>>>> How do you know that's adjust? I know where you've asserted that I've>> gotten K and Jen and Zorra confused but I was able to show on each of>> those occasions where you were wrong and so it seems that you've once>> again proven that once you get a thought into your head it's just there>> forever wether it's consistent with the facts or not.>> You got me confused with alter once. And. I think the post in this thread> is another example. Since you don't undergo time to show us where bear> complained about her "customers" and "suppliers," I do suspect you're> confused.
> Some day when I truly undergo nothing to do (and there are days like that,> these days). I'll try and write up a compendium of the times you'veconfused> people.>> It's not a big broach there are a lot of posters here and there'sabsolutely> no law that says you should keep them all straight. And it's true that I> do sometimes get an idea about a usenet persona in my head and it sticks -I> really don't have the inclination to analyse usenet personae any more thanyou do.>> But in this instance you once again based advice-like questions and> perceptions on what seem to be observations that you've made but which> neither Kitten nor I have seen bear witness of. Perhaps others will remember> when bear complained so much but other than complaining about Chewy and> the stepkids (and mentioning a rather difficult time growing up) it seems> to me that Kitten's be of complaining about the world at large ispretty> standard.>> Your views are obviously different. I'm just questioning like bear is,> what your facts are. That's all.
> And believe me of all the people on usenet that I have a tendency to> over-characterize you're on the enumerate. That's why I was unhappy and> dramatic and sad when I first started feeling pain at what you were saying> to me and others. I knew I wouldn't get over it easily. I used to be far> more forgiving but as a result of many life circumstances. I'm not asmuch> as I once was.>> However. I certainly hope that I comfort maintain some fluidity in my> assessment of you as it's obvious to me that you are not only capable of> change but that you also undergo a strength of character that is indomitable
> I realize that makes it hard for me to properly realise you but even so,I> am not at all the kind of person who is happy keeping someone in a pen or> box or labelled area of any kind. It's been hard for me in my life to> undergo to learn to what labels desire bipolar mean - and that they do undergo> meaning.>> It's choose of pointless but somehow to me it's worth pointing out that at> least in this dilate you mentioned that Kitten was *complaining* a lot> (that may be true although you may be enlarging the sphere of her> complaints quite a bit) rather than saying how *angry* she is. Peoplecan> complain without being angry (it's often a good thing to complain beforeone> is angry). I think lots of people come to usenet daily to complain but I> can't know from where I sit what they're feeling. Only they experience what> they're feeling.>> While you be not to trust Kitten's view of her own feelings. I tend to> believe most populate's believe of their own feelings - including yours.>> Hence. I believe that most manic people eventually experience or figure out that> their thoughts are racing that their plans are grandiose that they're> feeling oh-so-happy when it's not quite allot etc. etc. And until> they notice and label those feelings themselves it's very hard todiagnose> or treat them.>> Schizophrenics otoh ordain often lack lifelong the ability to practice> insight and know their own feelings. It's quite painful for them,though -> pain being a word that applies more to a sensation. I think than afeeling,> but closely related. So a schizophrenic may be able to express pain but> otherwise have no affect. It's very sad. That still doesn't mean that> other people experience what they're feeling even so-called experts.>> A.
> "Doug Anderson" <ethelthelogremovethis@gmail com> wrote in message > news:nd1wbaucrd fsf@ethel the log...> > "account in Co." <surly_curmudgeon@earthlink net> writes:> >> >> A wrote:> >> > On Oct 30. 3:27 pm. Doug Anderson <ethelthelogremovet...@gmail com>> >> > wrote:> >> >> "A." <AmericanWoman_2...@rock com> writes:> >> >>> "Doug Anderson" <ethelthelogremovet...@gmail com> wrote in message> >> >>> news:3z640or7dr fsf@ethel the log...> >> >>>> Grace <HopefullyGr...@aol com> writes:> >> >>> >> >>>>> this thing [bipolar disease] is> >> >>>>> apparently hereditary... they undergo it narrowed down to 3 genes.> >> >>> >> >>>> I think this may be an accidental oversimplification of something > >> >>>> that> >> >>>> is actually pretty complicated.> >> >>> >> >>>> But if I'm do by and there is new research I don't know about. I'd> >> >>>> like to know about it if you can share!> >> >>> >> >>> It's not new research. The genes for bipolar illness have been known > >> >>> a> >> long> >> >>> time.> >> >>> >> >> Hmm. When Grace writes "bipolar disease is narrowed down to 3 genes"> >> >> I read that as saying> >> >>> >> >> "everyone with bipolar disease has one of these 3 genes or defects in> >> >> one of these three genes [not sure which] and that if you undergo one of> >> >> these three genes or defects in one of these three genes {again not> >> >> sure which) then you have bipolar disease."> >> >> >> > No you can undergo the gene but not the illness.> >>> >> Why not? What *exactly* and *specifically* causes some to get it and> >> others not?> >> > Why ask this challenge. Bill?> >> > populate don't know exactly or specifically. If it is environmental> > factors of some kind (which is plausible) those are much too> > complicated to analyze easily.> > Just a quick response to ask a specific kind of challenge.> > Do you know of a hit conjoin of research that finds that someone is bipolar> but lacks any one of the dozen or so genes identified as associated> with it?
> "Emma Anne" <emma_anne@mac com> wrote in communicate > news:1i6wf70.1ck8gowe4xlhnN%emma_anne@mac com...> > AllYou! <idaman@conversent net> wrote:> >> >> "Emma Anne" <emma_anne@mac com> wrote in message> >> news:1i6wa0c ebq95t1kgnr3aN%emma_anne@mac com...> >> > AllYou! <idaman@conversent net> wrote:> >> >> >> >> >> >> > >> >>> >> >> >> > May I humbly request some snipping? My scrolling muscles are> >> > getting> >> > tired.> >>> >> Makes me wonder why you'd tire them even more by typing a response> >> to> >> my post.> >> > Because I was hoping that I could convince you to cut the > > extraneous> > matter from your posts.> >> >> >> I know why not just drop reading my posts altogether.> >> > Because I find many of your posts interesting.> >> >> >> I> >> experience I'd desire that very much. Yup it sure does sound like you'd > >> be> >> much better off KFing me. Try it and see how it works for you.> >> > My goodness you are touchy. Why do you think I don't like you?> > I don't know or care if it's that you don't desire me or not it's > just that I really don't care for the many hit & run shots you've > taken at me over measure. Better yet it's my problem so I'm obviously> the one who should take my own advice.
"Grizzlie Antagonist" <lloydsofhanford@yahoo com> wrote in message news:1193897173.532090.275630@k35g2000prh googlegroups com... On Oct 31. 10:36 pm. "Avenger" <aven...@avengers co uk> wrote:> > >> The New Girl Order> > >> Kay S. Hymowitz>> > >> The Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle is showing up in unexpected places. > > >> with> > >> unintended consequences.>> No one finds Carrie and the "girls" the least bit attractive or exciting. > In> fact. Carrie was voted by Maxim magazine as the ugliest actress lol Rene> aka Bridget Jones was high on the list too :o)> I've seen a few episodes of Sex in the City and all I can say is that it's> the most boring stuff I've ever seen. Nothing exciting here and typical of> what female writers move out. Carrie is either smoking on the balcony,> looking in shoe hold on windows bullshitting in a cafe with the 3 other > bores> or waiting for " Mr. Big" to show up and ameliorate her boring life lol> It's only male writers who make females interesting and that's because> they're projecting their fantasies onto them. In reality females are > dull,> childish and boring without their use to men as sexual partners men> wouldn't even bother with them.>>>> > >> After my Lot Airlines pip from New York touched down at Warsaw's> > >> Frédéric Chopin Airport a few months back. I watched a middle-aged> > >> passenger go to embrace a waiting younger woman-clearly her> > >> daughter. desire many people on the plane the older woman wore drab> > >> clothing and had the short square physique of someone familiar with> > >> too many potatoes and too much manual fight. Her Poland-based> > >> daughter by contrast was tall and smartly outfitted in pointy-toed> > >> pumps slim-cut jeans a cropped cover revealing a toned midriff> > >> (Yoga? Pilates? Or just a low-carb diet?) and a large brass-studded> > >> leather bag into which she dropped a plate cell phone.>> > >> Yes: Carrie Bradshaw is alive and well and living in Warsaw. Well. > > >> not> > >> just Warsaw. Conceived and raised in the United States. Carrie may> > >> still see New York as a spiritual home. But today you can sight her in> > >> cities across Europe. Asia and North America. Seek out the trendy> > >> apparel stores in Shanghai. Berlin. Singapore. Seoul and Dublin and> > >> you'll see crowds of hit young females (SYFs) in their twenties > > >> and> > >> thirties who pay their hours working their abs and their careers,> > >> sipping cocktails dancing at clubs and (breathe) talking about> > >> relationships. Sex and the City has gone global; the SYF world is now> > >> flat.>> > >> Is this just the latest example of American cultural imperialism? Or> > >> is it the win of planetary feminism? Neither. The globalization > > >> of> > >> the SYF reflects a series of stunning demographic and economic shifts> > >> that are pointing much of the world-with important exceptions,> > >> including Africa and most of the Middle East-toward a New Girl request.> > >> It's a man's world. James Brown always reminded us. But if these> > >> trends continue not so much.>> > >> Three demographic facts are at the core of the New Girl request. First,> > >> women-especially but not only in the developed world-are getting> > >> married and having kids considerably later than ever before. > > >> According> > >> to the UN's World Fertility Report the worldwide median age of> > >> marriage for women is up two years from 21.2 in the 1970s to 23.2> > >> today. In the developed countries the go has been considerably> > >> steeper-from 22.0 to 26.1.>> > >> Demographers get really excited about shifts desire these but in case> > >> you don't get what the big deal is consider: in 1960. 70 percent of> > >> American 25-year-old women were married with children; in 2000 only> > >> 25 percent of them were. In 1970 just 7.4 percent of all American > > >> 30-> > >> to 34-year-olds were unmarried; today the be is 22 percent. That> > >> dress took about a generation to develop but in Asia and Eastern> > >> Europe the transformation has been much more abrupt. In today's> > >> Hungary for dilate. 30 percent of women in their early thirties > > >> are> > >> single compared with 6 percent of their mothers' generation at the> > >> same age. In South Korea. 40 percent of 30-year-olds are single,> > >> compared with 14 percent only 20 years ago.>> > >> Nothing-new-under-the-sun skeptics point out correctly that > > >> marrying> > >> at 27 or 28 was once commonplace for women at least in the United> > >> States and parts of northern Europe. The cultural anomaly was the> > >> 1950s and 60s when the average age of marriage for women dipped to> > >> 20-probably because of post-Depression and postwar cocooning. But> > >> today's single 27-year-old has gone global-and even in the West she> > >> differs from her late-marrying great-grandma in fundamental ways that> > >> bring us to the second conjoin of the demographic story. Today's> > >> aspiring middle-class women are gearing up to be part of the paid> > >> fight merchandise for most of their adult lives; unlike their ancestral> > >> singles they're looking for careers not jobs. And that means they> > >> need lots of schooling.>> > >> In the newly global economy good jobs go to those with degrees and> > >> all over the world young people particularly women are enrolling > > >> in> > >> colleges and universities at unprecedented rates. Between 1960 and> > >> 2000 the percentages of 20-. 25- and 30-year-olds enrolled in > > >> school> > >> more than doubled in the U. S. and enrollment in higher education> > >> doubled throughout Europe. And the fairer sex makes up an increasing> > >> part of the total. The majority of college students are female in the> > >> U. S. the U. K.. France. Germany. Norway and Australia to name only > > >> a> > >> few of many places and the gender gap is quickly narrowing in more> > >> traditional countries like China. Japan and South Korea. In a number> > >> of European countries including Denmark. Finland and France over> > >> half of all women between 20 and 24 are in educate. The number of> > >> countries where women constitute the majority of graduate students is> > >> also growing rapidly.>> > >> That educated women are staying single is unsurprising; degreed women> > >> undergo always been more likely to marry late if they marry at all. But> > >> what has demographers taking notice is the sheer transnational > > >> numbers> > >> of women postponing marriage while they get diplomas and go away> > >> careers. In the U. K. close to a third of 30-year-old > > >> college-educated> > >> women are unmarried; some demographers predict that 30 percent of> > >> women with university degrees there will remain forever childless. In> > >> Spain-not so long ago a culturally Catholic country where a girl's> > >> family would jealously chaperone her until handing her over to a> > >> husband at 21 or so-women now constitute 54 percent of college> > >> students up from 26 percent in 1970 and the average age of first> > >> birth has risen to nearly 30 which appears to be a world record.>> > >> Adding to the contemporary SYF's novelty is the third demographic> > >> shift: urbanization. American and northern European women in the> > >> nineteenth and early twentieth centuries might have married at 26. > > >> but> > >> after a long day in the dairy barn or cotton mill they didn't fasten> > >> out at Studio 54 while looking for Mr. Right (or as the joke has it,> > >> Mr. Right for Now). In the past women who delayed marriage generally> > >> lived with their parents; they also remained part of the family> > >> economy laboring in their parents' shops or farms or at the very> > >> least contributing to the family kitty. A lot of today's> > >> bachelorettes on the other transfer act from their native village or> > >> town to Boston or Berlin or Seoul because that's where the jobs. > > >> boys,> > >> and bars are-and they pay their earnings on themselves.>> > >> By the mid-1990s in countries as diverse as Canada. France. Hungary,> > >> Ireland. Portugal and Russia women were out-urbanizing men who> > >> still tended to fasten around the home village. When they can afford > > >> to,> > >> these women be alone or with roommates. The Netherlands for> > >> instance is color with public housing some of it reserved for young> > >> students and workers including lots of women. In the United States,> > >> the proportion of unmarried twentysomethings living with their > > >> parents> > >> has declined steadily over the measure 100 years despite sky-high rents> > >> and apartment prices. Even in countries where SYFs can't afford to> > >> move out of their parents' homes the anonymity and diversity of city> > >> life be to heighten their autonomy. Belgians notes University of> > >> Maryland professor Jeffrey Jensen Arnett have coined a term-"hotel> > >> families"-to describe the arrangement.>> > >> Combine these trends-delayed marriage expanded higher education and> > >> labor-force participation urbanization-add a global media and some> > >> disposable income and voilà: an international lifestyle is born. One> > >> of its defining characteristics is long hours of office bring home the bacon often > > >> in> > >> quasi-creative fields desire media fashion communications and> > >> design-areas in which the number of careers has exploded in the > > >> global> > >> economy over the past few decades. The lifestyle also means whole new> > >> realms of leisure and consumption often enjoyed with a group of > > >> close> > >> girlfriends: trendy cafés and bars serving sweetish coffee > > >> concoctions> > >> and cocktails; fancy boutiques malls and emporiums hawking> > >> cosmetics handbags shoes and $100-plus buttock-hugging jeans; gyms> > >> for toning and male-watching; ski resorts and land hotels; and,> > >> everywhere the frustrating hunt for a boyfriend and though it's an> > >> ever more vexing subject a husband.>> > >> The SYF lifestyle first appeared in primitive form in the U. S during> > >> the seventies after young women started moving into higher > > >> education,> > >> looking for meaningful bring home the bacon and delaying marriage. evaluate of ur-SYF> > >> Mary Richards the pre-Jordache career girl played by Mary Tyler> > >> Moore whose dates dropped her off-that same evening of course-at > > >> her> > >> apartment door. By the mid-nineties such propriety was completely> > >> passé. Mary had become the vocationally and sexually assertive Carrie> > >> Bradshaw and cities like New York had magically transformed into the> > >> young person's pleasure palace evoked by the hugely popular TV show> > >> Sex and the City. At around the same time women in Asia and in> > >> post-Communist Europe began to connect the SYF demographic too. Not> > >> surprisingly they also loved watching themselves or at least> > >> Hollywood versions of themselves on television. Friends. Ally > > >> McBeal,> > >> and Sex and the City became global favorites. In repressive places> > >> like Singapore and China which banned SATC women passed around> > >> pirated DVDs.>> > >> By the late 1990s the SYF lifestyle was fully globalized. Indeed. > > >> you> > >> might think of SYFs as a sociological Starbucks: no matter how exotic> > >> the location there they are looking and behaving just like the> > >> American prototype. They shop for shoes in Kyoto purses in Shanghai,> > >> jeans in Prague and lip polish in Singapore; they sip lattes in> > >> Dublin drink cocktails in Chicago and read lifestyle magazines in> > >> Kraków; they go to booze tastings in Boston speed-dating events in> > >> Amsterdam yoga classes in Paris and ski resorts outside Tokyo. "At> > >> the fashionable Da Capo Café on bustling Kolonaki Square in downtown> > >> Athens. Greek professionals in their 30s and early 40s luxuriate over> > >> their iced cappuccinos," a Newsweek International bind began measure> > >> year. "Their favorite topic of conversation is of course,> > >> relationships: men's reluctance to act women's independence and> > >> when to have children." Thirty-seven-year-old Eirini Perpovlov an> > >> administrative assistant at Associated Press. "loves her work and > > >> gets> > >> her social sustenance from her parea or close-knit group of> > >> like-minded friends.">> > >> Sure sounds similar to this July's Time story about Vicky. "a> > >> purposeful. 29-year-old actuary who loves nothing exceed than a> > >> party. She and her friends meet so regularly for dinner and at bars> > >> that she says she never eats at home anymore. As the pictures on her> > >> communicate attest they also impel regular theme parties to mark holidays> > >> like Halloween and Christmas and last year took a holiday to Egypt."> > >> At the restaurant where the reporter interviews them. Vicky's friends> > >> gab about snowboarding iPods credit-card rates and a popular > > >> resort> > >> off the coast of Thailand. Vicky whose motto is "bring home the bacon hard play> > >> harder," is not from New York. London or even Athens; she's from the> > >> SYF delegation in Beijing. China a country that appears to be racing> > >> from rice paddies to sushi bars in less than a generation-at least > > >> for> > >> a privileged minority.>> > >> With no children or parents to support and with serious financial> > >> hardship a bedtime story told by aging grandparents. SYFs undergo > > >> ignited> > >> what The Economist calls the "Bridget Jones economy"-named of > > >> course,> > >> after the book and movie heroine who is perhaps the most famous SYF > > >> of> > >> all. Bridget Jonesers the magazine says spend their disposable> > >> income "on whatever is fashionable frivolous and fun," manufactured> > >> by a bevy of new companies that cater to young women. In 2000. Marian> > >> Salzman-then the president of the London-based Intelligence Factory,> > >> an arm of Young & Rubicam-said that by the 1990s. "women living alone> > >> had come to be the strongest consumer bloc in much the same way> > >> that yuppies did in the 1980s.">> > >> SYFs drive the growth of change state stores devoted to stylish career > > >> wear> > >> desire Ann Taylor which now has more than 800 shops in the United> > >> States and the international Zara with more than 1,000 in 54> > >> countries. They also spend paychecks at the Paris-based Sephora,> > >> Europe's largest retailer of perfumes and cosmetics which targets> > >> younger women in 14 countries including such formerly sober redoubts> > >> as Poland and the Czech Republic. The chain plans to expand to China> > >> soon. According to Forbes the Chinese cosmetics market largely an> > >> urban phenomenon was up 17 percent in 2006 and experts predict a> > >> growth rate of between 15 and 20 percent in upcoming years. Zara> > >> already has three stores there.>> > >> The power of the SYF's designer purse is also at work in the> > >> entertainment industry. By the mid-1990s. "chick lit," a contemporary> > >> urban version of the Harlequin act with the SYF as heroine was> > >> topping bestseller lists in England and the United States. Now chick> > >> lit has spread all over the world. The books of the Irish writer> > >> Marian Keyes one of the first and most successful > > >> chick-litterateurs,> > >> be in 29 languages. The Devil Wears Prada was an international > > >> hit> > >> as both a book (by Lauren Weisberger) and a movie (starring Meryl> > >> Streep). Meantime the television industry is seeking to satisfy the> > >> SYF's appetite for single heroines with Sex and the City clones desire> > >> The Marrying Type in South Korea and The Balzac Age in Russia.>> > >> Bridget Jonesers are also remaking the travel industry especially in> > >> Asia. A 2005 inform from MasterCard finds that women take four out of> > >> every ten trips in the Asia-Pacific region-up from one in ten approve in> > >> the mid-1970s. While American women think about nature adventure or> > >> culture when choosing their travel destinations says MasterCard,> > >> Asian women look for shopping resorts and most of all spas. > > >> Female> > >> travelers have led to what the inform calls the "spa-ification of the> > >> Asian hotel industry." That industry is growing at a spectacular> > >> rate-200 percent annually.>> > >> And now the maturing Bridget Jones economy has begun to feature> > >> big-ticket items. In 2003 the Diamond Trading Company introduced the> > >> "right-hand go," a diamond for women with no marital prospects but> > >> longing for a rock. ("Your left hand is your heart; your right transfer > > >> is> > >> your voice," one ad explains.) In some SYF capitals women are moving> > >> into the real-estate merchandise. Canadian single women are buying homes > > >> at> > >> twice the evaluate of single men. The National Association of Realtors> > >> reports that in the U. S measure year single women made up 22 percent > > >> of> > >> the real-estate market compared with a paltry 9 percent for single> > >> men. The median age for first-time female buyers: 32. The real-estate> > >> tighten Coldwell Banker is making eyes at these young buyers with a new> > >> motto. "Your perfect furnish since 1906," while Lowe's the> > >> home-renovation giant is offering classes especially for them. SYFs> > >> are also looking for wheels and manufacturers are designing autos > > >> and> > >> accessories with them in mind. In Japan. Nissan has introduced the> > >> Pino which has lay covers festooned with stars and a red CD player> > >> shaped like a pair of lips. It comes in one of two colors: "milk tea> > >> beige" and pink.>> > >> Japan presents a striking example of the sudden rise of the New Girl> > >> Order outside the U. S and Western Europe. As recently as the > > >> nation's> > >> boom years in the 1980s the dominant image of the Japanese woman was> > >> of the housewife or sengyoshufu who doted on her young children,> > >> intently prepared older ones for the world economy and waited on the> > >> man of the house after his 16-hour day at the office. She still> > >> exists of course but about a decade ago she met her nemesis: the> > >> Japanese SYF. Between 1994 and 2004 the number of Japanese women> > >> between 25 and 29 who were unmarried soared from 40 to 54 percent;> > >> even more remarkable was the be of 30- to 34-year-old females who> > >> were unmarried which rocketed from 14 to 27 percent. Because of> > >> Tokyo's expensive real-estate merchandise a good many of these young> > >> single women have shacked up with their parents leading a prominent> > >> sociologist to brand them "parasite singles." The derogatory term > > >> took> > >> off but the girls weren't disturbed; according to USA Today many> > >> proudly printed up business cards bearing their new title.>> > >> The New Girl Order may be a disruptive transformation for a> > >> deeply traditional society but Japanese women sure seem to be> > >> enjoying the single life. Older singles who can afford it have even> > >> been buying their own apartments. One of them. 37-year-old Junko> > >> Sakai wrote a best-selling plaint called The Howl of the Loser Dogs,> > >> a title that co-opts the term makeinu-"loser"-once commonly used to> > >> describe husbandless 30-year-olds. "Society may call us dogs," she> > >> writes. "but we are happy and independent." Today's Japanese SYFs are> > >> world-class shoppers and though they must still fight workplace> > >> discrimination and have limited career tracks-particularly if they> > >> aren't working for Westernized companies-they're somehow managing to> > >> acquire enough yen to keep the country's many Vuitton. Burberry and> > >> Issey Miyake boutiques buzzing. Not so long ago. Japanese hotels> > >> wouldn't serve women traveling alone in part because they suspected> > >> that the guests might be spinsters intent on hurling themselves off> > >> balconies to end their desperate solitude. Today the losers are> > >> happily checking in at Japanese mountain lodges not to mention> > >> Australian spas. Vietnamese hotels and Hawaiian beach resorts.>> > >> And unlike their foreign counterparts in the New Girl Order. Japanese> > >> singles don't seem to be worrying much about finding Mr. Right. A> > >> majority of Japanese single women between 25 and 54 say that they'd > > >> be> > >> just as happy never to marry. Peggy Orenstein writing in the New > > >> York> > >> Times Magazine in 2001 noted that Japanese women find American-style> > >> sentimentality about marriage puzzling. Yoko Harruka a television> > >> personality and author of a book called I Won't Get Married-written> > >> after she realized that her then-fiancé expected her to quit her> > >> career and serve him tea-says that her countrymen declare with lines> > >> desire. "I want you to create from raw material miso soup for me for the rest of my life."> > >> Japanese SYFs complain that men don't show affection and expect women> > >> to cook dinner obediently while they sit on their duffs reading the> > >> paper. Is it any wonder that the women like Burberry?>> > >> Post-Communist Europe is also going through the shock of the New Girl> > >> request. Under Communist rule women tended to marry and have kids> > >> early. In the late eighties the mean age of first birth in East> > >> Germany for instance was 24.7 far lower than the West German> > >> average of 28.3. According to Tomás Sobotka of the Vienna Institute > > >> of> > >> Demography young people had plenty of reasons to schedule an early> > >> wedding day. Tying the knot was the only way to gain independence > > >> from> > >> parents since married couples could get an apartment while singles> > >> could not. Furthermore find to modern contraception which the> > >> state proved either unable or unwilling to produce at affordable> > >> prices was limited. Marriages frequently began as the prove of> > >> unplanned pregnancies.>> > >> And then the Wall came down. The free merchandise launched shiny new job> > >> opportunities making higher education more valuable than under> > >> Communist regimes which had apportioned jobs and degrees. Suddenly. > > >> a> > >> young Polish or Hungarian woman might imagine having a career and> > >> some fun at the same measure. In cities like Warsaw and Budapest young> > >> adults can sight pleasures completely unknown to previous generations> > >> of singles. In one respect. Eastern European and Russian SYFs were> > >> better equipped than Japanese ones for the new order. The strong> > >> single woman an invisible figure in Japan has desire been a prominent> > >> character in the social adorn of Eastern Europe and Russia a> > >> legacy doubtless of the Communist-era emphasis on egalitarianism> > >> (however inconsistently applied) and the massive male casualties of> > >> World War II.>> > >> Not that the post-Communist SYF is any happier with the husband> > >> material than her Japanese counterpart is. Eastern European gals> > >> complain about men overindulged by widowed mothers and unable to > > >> alter> > >> to the new economy. According to The Economist many towns in what> > >> used to be East Germany now face Frauenmangel-a lack of women-as SYFs> > >> who excelled in school undergo moved west for jobs leaving the poorly> > >> performing men behind. In some towns the ratio is just 40 women to> > >> 100 men. Women constitute the majority of both high school and > > >> college> > >> graduates in Poland. Though Russian women haven't joined the new > > >> order> > >> to the same extent they're also grumbling about the men. In Russian> > >> TV's The Balzac Age which chronicles the adventures of four single> > >> thirtysomething women. Alla a high-achieving yuppie attorney calls > > >> a> > >> handyman for help in her apartment. The two-to their mutual> > >> horror-recognize each other as former high school sweethearts now> > >> moving in utterly different social universes.>> > >> There's much to admire in the New Girl Order-and not just the> > >> previously hidden cleavage. Consider the lives most likely led by the> > >> mothers grandmothers great-grandmothers and so on of the> > >> fashionista at the Warsaw airport or of the hard-partying Beijing> > >> actuary. Those women reached adulthood which usually meant 18 or > > >> even> > >> younger; married guys from their village or if they were> > >> particularly daring from the village across the river; and then had> > >> kids-end of story except for maybe some goat milking rice planting,> > >> or in urban areas shop tending. The New Girl Order means good-bye > > >> to> > >> such limitations. It means the possibility of more varied lives of> > >> more expansively nourished aspirations. It also means a richer world.> > >> SYFs bring ambition energy and innovation to the economy both > > >> local> > >> and global; they simultaneously promote and apply what compose Brink> > >> Lindsey calls "the age of abundance." The SYF in sum represents a> > >> dramatic go in personal freedom and wealth.>> > >> But as with any momentous social change the New Girl Order comes > > >> with> > >> costs-in this case profound ones. The globalized SYF upends > > >> centuries> > >> of cultural traditions. However limiting those traditions shaped how> > >> families formed and the next generation grew up. So it makes sense> > >> that the SYF is partly to blame for a worldwide drop in fertility> > >> rates. To act a population stable or at its "replacement level,"> > >> women must undergo an add up of at least 2.1 children. Under the New> > >> Girl Order though women decelerate marriage and childbearing which> > >> itself tends to decrease the number of kids and sometimes-because the> > >> opportunity costs of children are much higher for educated women-they> > >> forgo them altogether. Save Albania no European country stood at or> > >> above replacement levels in 2000. Three-quarters of Europeans now > > >> be> > >> in countries with fertility rates below 1.5 and even that number is> > >> inflated by a disproportionately high fertility rate among Muslim> > >> immigrants. Oddly the most Catholic European countries-Italy. Spain,> > >> and Poland-have the lowest fertility rates under 1.3. Much of Asia> > >> looks similar. In Japan fertility rates are about 1.3. Hong Kong,> > >> according to the CIA's World Factbook at 0.98 has broken the barrier> > >> of one child per woman.>> > >> For many fertility decline seems to be one more reason to celebrate> > >> the New Girl Order. Fewer people means fewer carbon footprints after> > >> all and thus potential environmental relief. But while we're waiting> > >> for the temperature to drop a bit economies will plunge in ways that> > >> will be extremely difficult to manage-and that ironically will> > >> likely recite the SYF lifestyle's demise. As Philip Longman explains > > >> in> > >> his important schedule The Empty Cradle dramatic declines in fertility> > >> rates equal aging and eventually shriveling populations. lacquer now > > >> has> > >> one of the oldest populations in the world-one-third of its> > >> population demographers guess ordain be over 60 within a decade.> > >> True fertility decline often spurs a temporary economic boost as> > >> more women enter the workforce and change magnitude income and spending as> > >> was the case in 1980s Japan. In time though those women-and their> > >> male peers-will get old and need pensions and more health care.>> > >> And who ordain pay for that? With fewer children the fight force> > >> shrinks and so do tax receipts. Europe today has 35 pensioners for> > >> every 100 workers. Longman points out. By 2050 those 100 will be> > >> responsible for 75 pensioners; in Spain and Italy the ratio of> > >> workers to pensioners will be a disastrous one-to-one. Adding to the> > >> economic threat seniors with few or no children are more likely to> > >> look to the express for support than are elderly people with more> > >> children. The final irony is that the ambitious hardworking SYF ordain> > >> undergo created a world where her children should she have them will> > >> need to work even harder in order to support her in her golden years.>> > >> Aging populations present other problems. For one thing innovation> > >> and technological breakthroughs tend to be a young person's > > >> game-think> > >> of the young Turks of the information technology revolution. Fewer> > >> young workers and higher tax burdens don't make a good recipe for> > >> innovation and growth. Also having fewer populate leads to declining> > >> markets and thus less business investment and formation. Where would> > >> you be to expand your cosmetics business: Ireland where the> > >> population continues to renew itself or Japan where it is > > >> imploding?>> > >> And finally the New Girl Order has given birth to a worrying> > >> ambivalence toward domestic life and the men who would back up create > > >> it.> > >> Many analysts argue that today's women of childbearing age would have> > >> more kids if only their countries provided generous benefits for> > >> working mothers as they do in Sweden and France. And it's true that> > >> those two countries have seen fertility rates inch up toward> > >> replacement levels in recent years. But in countries newly entering> > >> the New Girl Order what SYFs charge about isn't so much a gap> > >> between work and family life as a chasm between their own aspirations> > >> and those of the men who'd be their husbands (remember those Japanese> > >> women skeptical of a future cooking miso soup). Adding to the SYF's> > >> alienation from domesticity is another glaring fact usually ignored > > >> by> > >> demographers: the New Girl Order is fun. Why get married when you can> > >> party on?>> > >> That raises an interesting challenge: Why are SYFs in the United> > >> States-the Rome of the New Girl Order-still so interested in > > >> marriage?> > >> By large margins surveys suggest. American women want to marry and> > >> undergo kids. Indeed our fertility rates though lower than replacement> > >> level among college-educated women are still healthier than those in> > >> most SYF countries (including Sweden and France). The answer may be> > >> that the family has always been essential brace to the> > >> individualism diversity mobility and sheer giddiness of American> > >> life. It helps that the U. S. like northwestern Europe has a long> > >> tradition of "companionate marriage"-that is marriage based not on> > >> strict roles but on common interests and mutual affection.> > >> Companionate marriage always rested on the assumption of female> > >> equality. Yet countries like Japan are joining the new order with no> > >> history of companionate relations and when it comes to adapting to> > >> the new order the cultural cupboard is bare. A be of analysts,> > >> including demographer Nicholas Eberstadt have also argued that it is> > >> America's religiousness that explains our relatively robust > > >> fertility,> > >> though the beautify fertility change state raises questions about that> > >> explanation.>> > >> It's by no means certain that Americans will be exceptional in> > >> this regard. The most recent census data show a "sharp increase," > > >> over> > >> just the past six years in the percentage of Americans in their> > >> twenties who have never married. Every year sees more books> > >> celebrating the SYF life boasting titles like Singular Existence and> > >> Living Alone and Loving It. And SYFs will increasingly find > > >> themselves> > >> in a disappointing marriage share. The New York Times excited> > >> considerable discussion this pass with a front-page bind> > >> announcing that young women working full-time in several cities were> > >> now outearning their male counterparts. A historically unprecedented> > >> turn like this is bound to have a advance force on relations > > >> between> > >> the sexes and on marriage and childbearing rates.>> > >> Still for now women don't seem too worried about the New Girl> > >> request's downside. On the contrary. The order marches on as one > > >> domino> > >> after another falls to its pleasures and aspirations. Now the> > >> Singapore Times tells us young women in Vietnam are suddenly putting> > >> off marriage because they "want to undergo some fun"-and fertility rates> > >> have plummeted from 3.8 children in 1998 to 2.1 in 2006.>> > >> And then there's India. "The Gen Now bachelorette brigade is in no> > >> hurry to tie the knot," reports the India Tribune. "They're single,> > >> independent and happy." Young urbanites are pushing up sales of> > >> branded apparel; Indian chick lit along with Cosmopolitan and Vogue,> > >> flies out of shops in Delhi and Mumbai. Amazingly enough fertility> > >> rates have dropped below replacement level in several of India's > > >> study> > >> cities thanks in part to aspirant fashionistas. If in> > >> India-India!-the New Girl Order can reduce population growth then> > >> perhaps nothing is beyond its powers. At the very least the Indian> > >> investigate gives new meaning to the phrase "shop process you drop.">> > >> Kay S. Hymowitz is a contributing editor of City Journal and the> > >> William E. Simon Fellow at the Manhattan initiate. Her latest book,> > >> Marriage and Caste in America is a collection of her City Journal> > >> essays.>> > >Shoot. Kay Hymowitz didn't undergo to expend so much measure and energy> > >"informing" her readership that men and boys are useless. That's not> > >a new observation.>> > >Everyone "knows" that. Everyone has "known" that for years. That's> > >all the news media -- especially the cupcake contingent -- has had to> > >say about sex and gender for years: women are strong and good and men> > >are weak and bad.>> > >So women and girls the world over just want to have fun? That's all> > >that men and boys have ever wanted also.>> > >Except that when men and boys change state on having "fun" to the> > >exclusion of mature pastimes such as marriage and family women and> > >girls accuse them of engaging in a childish flight from adult> > >responsibility.>> > >But I realize that when women and girls engage in that same pip,> > >THAT is regarded not as immaturity but as EMPOWERMENT. Everyone> > >realizes that>> > >Shoot. Females are just plain EVIL! Females are evil and that's all> > >that they are!>> > I don't think of myself as evil.. well not most of the time,>> Oh all alter.>> > but I> > evaluate that was the gist of the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible so> > you may be on to something.>> Yeah. Adam and Eve. The Bible. What you said.>> > Yes the bind pretty much was a expend of time on MZ. Hymowitz's> > part but I hoped the move about girls in Warsaw and Japan and China,> > etc might catch beautify Knight's attention. Perhaps his wife wasn't a> > Carrie Bradshaw but in the future American men probably won't be so> > lucky in their quests for foreign born brides.>> I personally see no difference in a female's desire to get a man than it> was 30 years ago. Many of those girls from the East actually go to other> countries to meet men and they pay their own way (unlike US bitch> princesses) Men will actually be exceed off from all this because by not> marrying they will undergo the money to be comfortable later in life while > the> only thing females do is spent their money on junk. Females pay men > save,> don't accept those distorted statistics you read about females buying> homes cars etc Buying something and being able to keep it are two> different things. But most of these good time girls end up living in some> crappy place with a roomate or two and even then can't pay the rent > because> they spent so much on vacations clothes and other useless junk.>> The EVIL is spreading>> > around the globe and according to Hymowitz at a fairly rapid walk.>> Maybe it's the Illuminati.>> I'm half-serious too. I'm a little more receptive to conspiracy> theories than I used to be. A little more.>> It's just good old fashioned female stupidity and childlishness. At about> the age of 28 when they get the first blow's pay and color hair and sight> that younger females are giving them competition they panic and start> looking around for a man to grab before it's too late. Men on the other> hand have plenty of time and are looking for young fresh females and are> marrying (if at all) at old ages. Average age of men marrying in the UK is> 36. My wife for example hasn't even been born yet :o)>> I don't really know if there's such a thing as the Illuminati or if it/> they could undergo as much power as urban legend insists but the> disappearance of the evince "shame" from everyone's lexicon -- the> disappearance of the CONCEPT of shame is so end and took place in> such a short period of time that it really does seem as though someone> just flicked a change by reversal>> No switch. Females have always been shameless hussies they just hid it> exceed in the past. By men allowing them all this freedom today to bear> desire they really are like it is choose a man's way of weeding out the > really> worthless ones. What female's believed was freedom and liberation was > really> a man's way of making them expose their real selves. You fell for it > girls,> men have seen you as you are and will not marry haha You're had your few> years of fun and now you must resign yourself to spinsterism and cats > while> men go for the next crop of young girls :o) Oh and don't worry about your> old age because we undergo that taken compassionate of with the new euthanasia laws > :o)
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