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The at times unintentionally funny Malicious is a by-the-numbers erotic thriller that should only be watched by die-hard Molly Ringwald fans and by lovers of movies like. The Crush and Swimfan. The film is about Doug (Patrick McGaw) a baseball player/med student (you gotta have something to fall back on) who is not pleased by the fact that his insipid girlfriend (Sarah Lassez) won't screw him in an empty library. In response to this bashfulness the ball player's finds himself wandering in the general direction of a beguiling woman at a party a lithesome redhead named Melissa Nelson (Molly Ringwald) to be exact who five minutes into their getting-to-you phase asks him. "So.. you wanna fuck?" (I'm a big fan of straightforward dialogue like this especially when it's used in trashy erotic thrillers.)Penetration occurs shortly afterward in a convertible during a rain storm (a bold choice artistically). As you would expect this public display of affection entices the horny Doug to the point of gleeful madness. Only problem is that Melissa is a tad clingy and I mean really clingy. Though I couldn't quite understand Melissa's obsession with Doug. I mean his goatee* made him look like a child molester and his humping technique seemed perfunctory. Different strokes. I guess. Anyway. I was offended by the excessive use of the f-word in this film (you know. "fuck," "fucking" and "fucked"). If someone like me is complaining about the amount of fuck words that are uttered well you know you've crossed the line. It's fine and dandy when a bunch of lowlifes are saying it every five seconds but nondescript university students? Try mixing things up by saying. "shit" or "damn it," or even. "inflamed boy jerky."Fuck aside. Molly Ringwald is downright sexy as Melissa a stalking enthusiast who enjoys chain smoking autopsies and sex on boats. I loved the way she pouts after not getting her way after a heated exchange in the shower; aggressively folding her arms in a misguided attempt to conjure the spirit of unrequited love. Molly also appears topless during a boat tryst beats herself up throws herself down a flight of stairs (hilarious) and in an inspired touch has the camera take the point-of-view of her serious black pumps. Another cool aspect about Malicious was that Molly seemed to be channeling Veronica Lake and Lauren Bacall. Her body language and hairstyle were very reminiscent of these femme fatals from the 1940s. Hell even the way she held her cigarette appeared to be an ode to classic film noir. This noir-ish vibe of Molly's is exacerbated whenever her character found herself surrounded by slackers in flannel sportswear. Oh and I liked the fact that Doug's cat purrs. You don't often see cats purring in movies.* I don't mean to imply that all men and women who sport goatees are child molesters. It's just that this particular patch of unshaved facial hair had a distinct "I'm currently building a dungeon in my mom's basement" vibe about it. Call me crazy but that doesn't look like Paget Brewster in a bikini. :pSeriously... Now that's a real man. An extremely good thing. I mean being married to a child molester must like totally suck. Speaking of facial hair the guy from Wilco reminded me of Ron Sexsmith when I saw him on the Colbert Report the other day. Quiet and slightly pudgy. Tweedy was on Colbert? I guess they have now a similar physical appearance since Tweedy has gained weight d is way behind on his Colbert watching. I thought about you this morn when we had breakfast at a Shoney's where I saw a car with an Ontario license plate. I don't know if you ever see a car with Carolina tags. ;)(Actually that reminds me of a time we crossed the border in a rental car with no tags--this used to be legal up to 30 days--and the border guy said. "Do you guys in South Carolina not believe in license plates?" :P Shoney's must be a great spot for hoser watching. I don't really notice license plates. However. I do seem to see a lot of Michigan plates during my adventures. Oh and my fave plate is the one issued in the Northwest Territories. It's shaped like a polar beer. That's a shame. I take comfort in Colbert's fake pomposity. It took 25 years but HBO has finally come to Canada. Sure it's called HBO Canada and has to feature 30% Canadian content but still...

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Sarah Lassez topless bloggers, take a bit of your day to say Hi to Carli Banks. She has a nice new teaser video for you.
~Ray



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